A Pinch of This; A Dash of That

"A dash of this and a pinch of that is all Grazel, the old woman from Dexxer's Grove needed to concoct what she believed to be a cure and a way to stop the common cold.

That was two weeks ago.....

Now random citizens from the small village are turning up as undead, without having ever been bitten.....

Was Grazel's concoction the cause? We don't know. And that's we're sending you to Dexxer's Grove to find out exactly what is happening there."

"BUCKAW!!!!" Sir Goodfry replied to his superior Knight of Tomath. It would be a days ride under the night sky by horseback, but like most people, Sir Goodfry avoided horseback when traveling from on city to another. They made far too much noise and alerted far too much undead. So his his one day ride from Peregren to Dexxer's Grove would become a one week walk.


It was fine with Sir Goodfry though. If the problems with this Grazel woman in Dexxer's Grove had been happening for two weeks now, then chances are there wouldn't be hardly anyone left alive anyways.

Sir Goodfry gathered his gear and made his way through the busy streets of Peregren toward the main gate...

As Sir Goodfry traversed Peregren's streets to the main gate, a little sparrow landed on his shoulder. After leaving a little gooey gift for the chicken, the sparrow flew off.

"Bill! That's no way to treat our allies!"

A man strode up to Sir Goodfry and waved up at the knight. Oddly, the man was only eight inches tall. The tiny man waved.

"My name's Cholley. I'm gonna go to Dexxer's Grove with you!"

Cholley wrote:

As Sir Goodfry traversed Peregren's streets to the main gate, a little sparrow landed on his shoulder. After leaving a little gooey gift for the chicken, the sparrow flew off.

"Bill! That's no way to treat our allies!"

A man strode up to Sir Goodfry and waved up at the knight. Oddly, the man was only eight inches tall. The tiny man waved.

"My name's Cholley. I'm gonna go to Dexxer's Grove with you!"

"BUCKAW!!!!!!" Sir Goodfry yelled dropping his halberd and running in terror the other direction.

"There's a ghost! A ghost!!!!"

"Where?!"

Cholley spun around and looked to see some freaky looking white blob coming for him.

"Well that's boring. I don't see anything. Bill!"

A sparrow swooped to the ground and pecked at the ground. Once Cholley was on the bird, they took off after the big chicken.

"Sir Goodfry! The ghost is gone, but you left me behind!"

Sir Goodfry ran as fast as he could

"BUCKAW!! HELP! A TALKING BIRD!!!! A TALKING....bird?"

Sir Goodfry stopped and turned toward the sparrow.

"By my Aunt Berta's fourth clutch! What kind of Aniver are you!?!?!? Where did your legs go???" Sir Goodfry asked the sparrow.

It was soon realized that it was indeed not a talking Sparrow but a small magically shrunken human riding the Sparrow. And so, the two left Peregren on their perilous journey to Dexxer's Grove.....

The gates opened again, and a drunk (slightly buzzed by his opinion) pirate landed harshly on the ground.

"Stay out, you filthy pirate scum!" said a guard.

"Ye kiss yer mother with that mouth," said the pirate flipping the bird to the knight. "Don' matter ta me, I be kissin her with mine all the time!"

The guard uttered some sort of obscenity and once more told the pirate to never return, to which Steven replied. "I'll let ye be the one to disappoint yer dear old ma that she won' be seein' me!" he said loudly, throwing a rock at the gate.

He turned and started down the road, spotting an old friend. "Sir Cluck! Its ye!" he yelled happily, his affection a symptom of his drunkeness, and ran to hug the bird. "Oh how I missed ye...Have I told ye that ye's my best friend?"

Cholley saw the drunken pirate stumbling towards Goodfry. The sparrow was perched on the chickens shoulder up until then.

"Bill, fly! Fly!" screamed the little man.

Once the sparrow and man were airborne, Cholley watched below, curious to see what a drunk man and a chicken look like hugging...

Bill perched on a dead tree to watch the show.

"Don't hurt the chicken too badly. We're on a quest!"

"Ish we really?" he asked the bird, or what he thought was a talking bird. "Tell me, great magic birdy, where do ye wan' us ta go?" he asked, using his best common. After all, he was in the presence of a great magical being!

"Whatever yer quest, I'm yer man! I," he said making a grandiose spinning gesture, having to pause for moment to regain his balance, "AM STEVEN SEAGULL! GREATEST PIRATE TO SAIL THE SEA OR SK-" he stopped, falling unconscious to the ground.

Unknown to all how it happened, the greatest pirate in the world.... somehow knocked himself unconscious

Cholley gazed down at the pirate.

"Wow... He must be good. He tired himself out, and we haven't even seen him fight yet!" Said Cholley with awe.

Bill flew Cholley down to the sleeping man, and Cholley dismounted, and approached with his staff.

"You need to wake up mister. We need your expertise to take us to Dexxer's Grove!"

Cholley then proceeded to poke Steven Seagull in the face with his staff.

"Wake up, wake up."

Steven awoke groggily, only to get poked in the eye with what may have been a toothpick. "OW! Who ar-" he gasped as he looked at the small man.

He picked Cholley up and looked at him, 'Oh no! What has the great bird done to ye Sir Cluck! He turned ye human and... tiny?" He raised his fist to Bill, "Ye are not holy and just, are ye bird! I will slay ye, ye evil monster!" He ran at Bill, swinging Cholley as a weapon

"Don't kill Bill! Don't kill Bill! AHHHH!"

In the hands of the raving drunk, Cholley's fate rested in either the chicken, or if the pirate some how lost track of thought.

"Mr. Pirate! If Bill get's hurt... oof... I can't fly anymore!"

"Bill? Ye named the monster?" Steven asked, more confused than ever. "I'll never understand ye, Sir Cluck, yer a strange man, chicken, midget thing." He set Cholley on the ground, still confused.

Steven turned, seeing Goodfry still himself. "Sir Cluck! Yer ye!"

The pirate looked at Cholley, "Ye lied to me Mr. Man midget, I'm disappointed in ye..."

Steven went to hug Goodfry again

Hug attempt

[roll="d20"]1[/roll]

Goodfry's saving throw

[roll="d20"]1[/roll]

OOC: As per the rules, when a 1 is rolled, something bad is to happen. Here goes


BIC: Goodfry was wrapped tight in the affectionate, drunken, embrace of the pirate. "Oh sir Cluck, I thought that monster bird had tur-" there was a loud, abrupt noise that interrupted the pirate.

"Sorry about that," said Steven, "I just farted. I think that goat meat was bad..." He then burped loudly in Goodfry's face

Cholley put his hands behind his back, looked down at the ground, and kicked shyly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Pirate. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm glad you found your friend, the chicken though. It's nice seeing two good friends enjoying their time together. I think my friends are dead." He said quite cheerfully.

Bill then appeared at Cholley's side and they flew up onto Steven's head.

"Do any of you two know how to get to where we're going?"

Steven let go of the bird, "To get a drink?" he asked excitedly. He looked at the bird on his head (well he tried, all really succeeded in doing was giving himself a headache) and sighed, "Yer right, oh magic bird, I shouldn' get another one, I'm almost drunk as it is..."

He looked at Cholley, "Where are we goin again? Dexter's glove?"

"I don't think so Steven... I don't know where Dexter's Glove is. I think we're going to Dexxer's Grove... I think."

Cholley wasn't sure who this Steven guy was, but he wondered just how much of an expert he really was.

"Bill gets tired of flying long distances, so he likes to perch on peoples' heads and shoulders. That way we can keep moving. Although, right now. We've just done a long of standing, and falling, and swinging..."

The horde charged at them full force screaming their hunger and anger. The same horde who at one time tried to overtake Peregren were now almost literally on top of Steven, Sir Goodfry, and Cholley (and Bill).

Sir Goodfry jumped 20 feet in the air seeing the coming onslaught to avoid the undead (Ability: Untamed Level 1) and watched as one of the undead tried to tackle Steven.

[roll="d20"]1[/roll]

I hate you so much, Craig...

The member 'Steven Seagull' has done the following action : Dices roll

'd20' :

Result : 15

"BUCK BUCKAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bill and Cholley quickly took safety up in a large tree.

"Good girl, Bill."

Cholley looked down at poor Steven.

"Use your expert skills! Uh oh! Watch out!"

Quickly, Cholley saw more undead approach and wanting only to help, used his Slick spell in front of the zombies, and right next to Steven.

"Get 'em!" Cholley cheered.

Steven ran back to the gates, "Open the gates! Help me!" he yelled. The guard who had "released" him from teh city peered over the edge.

"Well hello there!" he said happily, smiling at Steven's predicament. "Having some trouble?"

"They're gonna eat me!"

"Oh I'm sure the great captain Seagull will be fine."

"Help me!"

"Hmmm..... Nope."

"Can ye find it in yer heart?!"

"I'm sorry, I cant talk, still on duty," the guard then walked off. "I'll tell my mom you said hey and bye though," the guard said with a laugh.

Steven backed against the gate, preparing for the death to come, when all of a sudden...

"3...2...1...Now!" The body of one of the brute's was thrown off the wall, crushing a majority of the zombies following Steven, the rest losing interest after he was splashed with the gore, masking his scent.

"By the great magic bird...." he fainted

Sir Goodfry glided back to the ground...

"BAWK!!!!!!!"

He then ran up to Steven.

He looked at the drunken pirate.....shrugged his shoulders....and turned to walk away to Dexxer's Grove.

"Mr Chicken! You're forgetting your friend! I think we need to help wake the pirate up. I don't know if he should be left alone here in the open... with undead around."

Cholley tried to keep up with Sir Goodfry, but he had to jog to do so.

"You can carry him to a river so he can get cleaned up! That smell is bad."