A Pinch of This; A Dash of That

Cholley wrote:

"Mr Chicken! You're forgetting your friend! I think we need to help wake the pirate up. I don't know if he should be left alone here in the open... with undead around."

Cholley tried to keep up with Sir Goodfry, but he had to jog to do so.

"You can carry him to a river so he can get cleaned up! That smell is bad."

Sir Goodfry stopped. He wasn't sure who the man was. He seemed familiar but it also seemed as if the man tried to do him harm at some point in the past. Sir Goodfry couldn't remember so he forgot about it.

"Buckaw! You're right." Sir Goodfry then walked back to Steven and saw Cholley follow.

He gently picked up Cholley and noticed Bill land herself on Steven's nose. Of course then, Bill also let something else, a white milky color land in Steven's closed eye. Sir Goodfry sat Cholley gently on Bill who was perched on Steven's nose. He then walked around and grabbed one of Steven's feet and began dragging him toward Dexxer's Grove.

"Yay! Good news Sir Steven! You're coming with us!"

Cholley rode on Bill, while she rode Steven, while he was dragged by Sir Goodfry.

"I hope that last rock didn't hurt! He's still asleep, so he's probably fine. How far is it to the river? Are you excited to get to Dexxer's Grove? What do you think we'll find there? Something gory and scary? I was almost swallowed by a zombie once, and I was even thrown like a rock once! This jerk, I forget his name, picked me up and threw me! Can you believe that? I hit a zombie in the head... with MY head. It hurt, but then we played with this deck of cards..."

And so Cholley retold the Marvelous Adventures of the 8 Inch Man, for Goodfry and the unconscious Steven, to hear.

A few days later, the group arrived in Dexxer's Grove. It was a virtual ghost town. A few families of farmers were still there and mostly peeked out of their windows at the odd trio.


There were no significant buildings in Dexxer's grove other than a large church which at one time doubled as a school and quite possibly a mayoral office.

Sir Goodfry stepped in and left Cholley and Steven (who was just waking up and was now sober with a horrible headache.

"Buckaw....hello buck?"

Steven arose groggily, wiping some of the now dried bird poop from his eye, which he was violently cursing and ranting about. "Can' a fella get some sleep!?" he yelled, raising his fist to the skies. "Screw both of ye birds," he said, not noticing Goodfry's disappearance, "I'm going back inside Peregren, where I can sleep without ye damn feathered fuc-" he stopped.

Peregren was no longer behind him, but what was, was the marks of someone being dragged. "Ye drug me all the way here?!" He yelled, "Where is here?!" he asked angrilly, falling over.

After years of saturation, Steven was never really sober...

"Shhhh....we need to stay quiet.....something isn't right here-BAWK!!!!!!!!!!"

Moans of the dead could be heard all through out Dexxer's Grove.

"Sorry," Sir Goodfry said softly.

"Zombies!" said Cholley in loud whisper.

"Well? Aren't we going to go crush some skulls? We have to save Dexxer's Grove!"

Cholley hopped off of Bill, onto the ground and started hunting around for zombies. He held his staff out, ready to liberate the city and be their hero!

"Shhhhh...." came the whisper.

It was an old man, skinny, witch curly gray hair and glasses. He motioned to the trio from a small house.

"Get in here quick, before they come," he whispered loudly.

"Good idea! We can kill those buggars from in the house!"

Cholley ran past the old man's feet into the house. Bill flew of and landed on the roof. The bird chirped as it pecked around. He knew not to fly too far from his rider. (Bill is in fact a boy, but Cholley couldn't tell, so he calls Bill a girl)

The group entered the house, and softly shut the door behind them.

"You have to be quiet around here. Those undead are everywhere out there and we're pretty sure there's a sprinter zombie with them, but we don't know. Who are you people?" the old man asked.

Inside his home, it was like a bunker. The windows were boarded up, Food was stock piled and he had three rifles sitting on a table with ammunition as well. A large fat woman who had clearly been a zombie at one point, lay dead on a sofa from a rifle blast to her eye socket. Sitting on a chair was a teenage boy who had been a zombie, but was now dead, with a dagger protruding from his forehead. A small young girl, no older than possibly seven years old lay in the corner of the small one room house chained by the ankle to the wall. She had at one time been a zombie as well, but was now dead, with her head lying near the body.

Each one of the dead zombies also had a plate of hot food near them of sweet potatoes, and pork ribs.

"I'm sorry. How rude of me. I should introduce everyone. This is Gertrude, my wife, and our beautiful children Fred and Alice. Would you like to have dinner with us?"

The poor old man. He lost his family but can't let them go. It must be terrible to have every member of his family get turned into zombies. I wonder how they got bit on the sofa? Oh well!

"I'd love some! I haven't eaten anything since Peregren. I'm hungry!Mr. Farmer or whatever you are, its very nice to sit here with you and your family!" said a charming Cholley, as the dagger in the teenage boy slipped out and clattered loudly on the floor.

"I think I could eat a whole grape!"

Cholley, oblivious and hungry, went to the table and looked up.

"Chicken! I need up!"

"Hmmm?" The old man looked at Cholley quizzically. He then bent and picked him up just as Sir Goodfry was about to.


"Alice could use a new dolly," he mumbled and carried Cholley to his dead headless daughter whose corpse lay on the floor. He then placed Cholley in his dead zombie daughter's hand.

"Oh look we have visitor's Gertrude," he smiled turning to Steven and Sir Goodfry.

"Bawk?" Goodfry said confused.

"He looks to be a sailor dear....and he brought a chicken dinner with him," the old man had clearly lost it.

"BAWK!?"

"EW!!!!"

Cholley jumped out from the disgusting girls presence, and ran and hid behind Steven's foot.

"That's gross! I don't mind being polite, but he stuck me in her hands! I wish I was back with Hellcat! She never put me in a dead girl's hand. Now I don't wanna eat anything!"

The old man walked towards Sir Goodfry.

"Sir BUCKAW! I think BUCKAW!! You may be mistake-BAWK! mistaken. I-I'm not BUCK! dinner. I was sent by the Knights of BWAWK! Knights of Tomath!" Sir Goodfry said frantically.

"We're here to find BUCKAW! Grazel."

The old man stopped.

"Grazel.....Grazel is at her house. WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!? WHY ARE ANY OF YOU IN MY HOUSE!?!?" th old man screamed.

"DID MY WIFE INVITE YOU! SHE KNOWS I DON'T LIKE STRANGERS!" the screaming got louder. Sir Goodfry looked at Steven and Cholley a bit worried.

And then....on the window....a bloody can hit it. Not hard. Just a small thud.

"YOU!" the old man yelled. "YOU BROUGHT THEM HERE! I WON'T LET YOU BRING YOUR UNDEAD MINIONS TO TURN MY FAMILY INTO THE" the old man shouted. He ran forward and shoved Steven. Steven who was still slightly drunk fell to the floor and the old man scooped up Cholley and drew a flintlock pistol. To Cholley's head though which was what the barrel was pressed up against, it was like a cannon.

"YOU CAN'T HAVE MY FAMILY!" he screamed, and clicked back the hammer ready to fire.

More undead beat against the closed door.

Cholley looked at the farmer angrily.

"You sir, are a terrible host!"

Cholley looked at the gun and focused. In a moment, the gun was shoved upward, and lifted up and out of the farmer's grasp. (Telekinesis)

"Perhaps I should shoot you, and save you from becoming a zombie?"

BLAM!

Sir Goodfry chickened (he never ducked, as he didn't care for ducks and that would just be insulting)

Cholley felt himself tumbling end over end through the air.

He landed on the old man's stomach.

The old man lay dead on the floor, the majority of the back of his head blown out and a small exit hole in his forehead.

The old woman stepped in.

"He had been bitten earlier today. Held himself up in here. I banged on the window and no one seemed to care so I knocked on the door to let you all know, but no one was answering. Figured I should just open the door and come in," she said.

"My name is Grazel,are you the....no....a chicken, a shrunken man and a drunken pirate...you can't be the knights I sent for," she said looking at the trio suspiciously.

"BAWK!!!!!!!!!! At your service ma'am," Sir Goodfry said bowing.

"I'm not shrunken! I've always been this size! Actually, I think I might have grown a millimeter!"

Cholley quickly scurried away from the dead body. And approached the old woman.

"I forget, are we here to help you? Or foil your evil plot to blow everyone's brains out?"

Cholley wrote:

"I'm not shrunken! I've always been this size! Actually, I think I might have grown a millimeter!"

Cholley quickly scurried away from the dead body. And approached the old woman.

"I forget, are we here to help you? Or foil your evil plot to blow everyone's brains out?"

"You're here to help me. And what shrunk you? Was it one of those Tothian Mages? Hmmm? maybe you're cursed? None the less come with me...and never mind the growling outside....just some guard dogs most of the farmers here keep tied up behind their houses to alert them of any undead coming," Grazel said and turned and left the house.

Sir Goodfry looked at Steven and Cholley then the four dead bodies.

"Buck buck buckaw.....someone BAWK! Someone is gonna have to clean up this mess........NOT IT!" he then ran out the door after Grazel.

The old woman peered out of her window across the street at the adventurers......and then felt the pain hit her. it was like a knife of pure light stabbed her brain.

She fumbled with the door to her home for a moment and rushed out.

Sir Goodfry turned and saw her. Thinking she was being chased by the undead he started toward her.

Then she screamed:

"IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S COME! THE BLEEDING MACHINE HAS COME!!!!'

And the world burned to red...

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DM NOTE:

This thread is now CLOSED! Please see the thread entitled "Red! Red! Red!" to continue playing.